Life goes on..........And here we are at frozen embryo cycle #4

I began frozen embryo cycle #4 a few days after receiving my big fat negative from my doctor. That conversation was actually pretty humorous. He sounded a little more sad than I was.

Some people say taking at home pregnancy tests before the blood test is a bad thing, but I was able to find out the result and deal with it on my own time rather than on Monday while I was at work.

Getting back to my conversation with my doctor, when he called he said that he is sorry, but the test came back negative and I was like, "I know, now what do we do next?". He then explained to me that since we did three frozen embryo transfers using one egg, we can now be more aggressive and transfer two embryos during the consecutive cycles.

Now lets fast forward to today. We are in day 12 of frozen embryo cycle # 4. As I type this, I can barely believe it myself that we are on cycle #4. I can't believe that it is taking so many cycles, so many medications, and so much time to do what happened so quickly the first time. But, it is what it is and we are dealing with it all.

On May 10th, I will arrive at the surgical center of Long Island IVF and they are going to implant two embryos that were fertilized five years ago and thawed that morning. After the upcoming transfer on May 10th, I could be pregnant with one baby, two babies, or none.

Although modern medicine has given me the opportunity to have a child when I could not do so naturally, I know that god has the final say.

I refuse to be sad about what has not happened. I am blessed with one child and I am blessed with the opportunity and resources to continue to try for another. And if it never happens, than god has another plan for our family. It is up to god to decide and I will continue to trust in his plan for us.

-Trusting in god's plan