The last time I wrote was about 13 weeks ago. Sooooooo....much has happened. Well, I never did get back to work like I hoped. I went from two weeks of modified bedrest to lay down and only get up for bathroom/shower bedrest. I was on that type of bedrest until last Wednesday when my water broke@27 weeks. That was absolutely terrifying!! This whole time we have been so worried and focused on my cervix and then my water goes and breaks for reasons I still do not know.
Just to recap our struggle: 5 failed frozen embryo transfers. Then, 1 successful fresh IVF cycle, which resulted in this pregnancy, cerclage at 15 weeks to prevent my cervix from opening prematurely, 12 weeks of @home bedrest, water broke at 27 weeks. Now currently 28 weeks, 5 days and I am on hospital bedrest. Not only did we try to conceive for about a year before actually conceiving, but when we finally did, it has been one road block after another. How many challenges can one pregnancy have?
Some times I feel that god is trying to tell us that if it was in his plan for us to have another child, he would have let me conceive it naturally. That he is trying to tell us that this was not supposed to be. But then other times, I realize that if this was not in god's plan for us, he would not let it be in the first place. That if he did not want me to be the mother to another child, then he would not have allowed our embryo to implant in the first place. That all that we are going through is to teach us some lesson or to make us appreciate his gifts even more. I don't know, I guess at the end of all of this, I will have a clearer view of it all.
All I do know is that through it all...challenge after challenge, god is allowing this pregnancy to go on against all odds. I consider my first son my "miracle baby" since he was conceived with IVF and I almost lost him at 17 weeks due to my incompetent cervix, but then went on to carrying him until 38 weeks. But this kid I'm carrying right here, he is a fighter. My water has been broken for 9 days and he continues to thrive in my belly with a strong heartbeat and several very hard kicks all day long with little to no fluid around him, at times.
At this point, you may be just as confused as I was about my water breaking and 9 days later...still pregnant. In my eyes, that's nothing short of a miracle. From television and from stories of friends and family members who have had babies, when your water breaks.....here comes baby. But, to my surprise, preterm premature rupture of membranes does not always lead to active labor. It's like it happens accidentally and unless you show signs of an infection, they very rarely know what caused it exactly. And that is the case for me. I was bleeding for a reason I still do not have the answer to and then two days later my water broke for a reason I still do not have the answer to. According to the amazing doctors at Stony Brook University Hospital, they have had women who have come in with PPROM and have lasted weeks without their fluid.
When I entered the hospital they told me that each day that my little one has inside me increases his chances of health and that we will take it day by day making goals as we go along. When I entered the first goal was getting past the first few days, as most women who have ruptured membranes go into labor within a few days. Then, the goal was to make it from 27-28 weeks. Since I got passed that now the next goal is to make it to Sunday (29 weeks).
So..here is to the journey ahead !
The FET Chronicles
Friday, May 3, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Drum roll please.......... 15 weeks and 3 day!! yay!!
Sorry that it has been so long since my last post. I have been scared to share the news, but I am very pregnant!! It has been a long time coming. Those of you that have been following my blog know that I have been trying since November of 2011. It took a little less than a year and 6 IVF cycles for this to finally be happening.
Now that I am in my second trimester, I finally feel like it is a good time to share my joy. I am not 100 percent worry free at this point, I mean other than the usual worries that women have in pregnancy, I also have a condition that is called an incompetent cervix. My cervix is extremely short, so I have to worry about it prematurely opening before it is supposed to. Yes.....on top of all the other issues that I have, I have to also worry about this, but like they say nothing good comes easy and what is worth having is worth fighting for. And boy have we been fighting like hell. But the silver lining in all of this is that I had a procedure done last Monday where they put a stitch at the opening of my cervix to help keep it closed. I had this done also when I was pregnant with my son, but I had it done so late (becasue they were not aware that I had this issue), that I almost lost him when I was only 17 weeks and I had to be on bed rest for 6 months. But the stitch held tight and my son was born at 38 weeks.
This time around, we knew that I would need the stitch, which the medical term is a "cerclage", so we did it at 14 weeks and the hope is that I will not need to be on full bedrest and that I will be able to act somewhat like a normal pregnant woman. The first time around, I did not enjoy the pregnancy the way that other women get to enjoy it. I had to stay in bed, eat in bed, and shower everyother day. I did not get to go out to eat, shop for baby things, or flaunt my belly like other pregnant ladies.
After my procedure last week, I was put on modified bed rest for two weeks, but I go to the doctor tomorrow and I feel great, so I am anticipating her allowing me to go back to work this week instead of next week or instead of putting me on full bed rest (like I had to be with my son). However, if she (my high risk ob) decides that I need to be on bed rest, well then...I will do what I have to do to have a healthy baby.
I am 15 weeks and 3 days today. I go for a sonogram tomorrow, which I am hoping will reveal the sex, along with how well the stitch is holding up. When trying to get pregnant, I kept thinking, "a girl would be nice", but to be completely honest, I could care less right now. I whole heartily will be excited no matter what it is. As weird as it sounds, I am completely neutral about which gender I would like it to be. Having either one has equal benefits in my eyes. My husband would like another boy, of course. However, I know that he would adore a little girl and he knows it too, but he can't deal with the thought of the "teenage years". And I can't blame him. I was a teenage girl, so I know what we are in for and that right there goes on my "cons" column when thinking about which gender we would like. But in all seriousness, after all we have been through, I will be happy that it is human, no matter what sex it is. I feel extremely blessed that I am able to even ponder a sex right now. A few months ago, it felt as if this was never really going to come to fruition.
Well, now that I have put it all out there for the world to see...makes it all feel that much more real to me. I am still in shock and disbelief that this is really happening. We have just been through so much and it seems like a blur right now. All I can focus on is getting to the next week.
~extremely preggo
Now that I am in my second trimester, I finally feel like it is a good time to share my joy. I am not 100 percent worry free at this point, I mean other than the usual worries that women have in pregnancy, I also have a condition that is called an incompetent cervix. My cervix is extremely short, so I have to worry about it prematurely opening before it is supposed to. Yes.....on top of all the other issues that I have, I have to also worry about this, but like they say nothing good comes easy and what is worth having is worth fighting for. And boy have we been fighting like hell. But the silver lining in all of this is that I had a procedure done last Monday where they put a stitch at the opening of my cervix to help keep it closed. I had this done also when I was pregnant with my son, but I had it done so late (becasue they were not aware that I had this issue), that I almost lost him when I was only 17 weeks and I had to be on bed rest for 6 months. But the stitch held tight and my son was born at 38 weeks.
This time around, we knew that I would need the stitch, which the medical term is a "cerclage", so we did it at 14 weeks and the hope is that I will not need to be on full bedrest and that I will be able to act somewhat like a normal pregnant woman. The first time around, I did not enjoy the pregnancy the way that other women get to enjoy it. I had to stay in bed, eat in bed, and shower everyother day. I did not get to go out to eat, shop for baby things, or flaunt my belly like other pregnant ladies.
After my procedure last week, I was put on modified bed rest for two weeks, but I go to the doctor tomorrow and I feel great, so I am anticipating her allowing me to go back to work this week instead of next week or instead of putting me on full bed rest (like I had to be with my son). However, if she (my high risk ob) decides that I need to be on bed rest, well then...I will do what I have to do to have a healthy baby.
I am 15 weeks and 3 days today. I go for a sonogram tomorrow, which I am hoping will reveal the sex, along with how well the stitch is holding up. When trying to get pregnant, I kept thinking, "a girl would be nice", but to be completely honest, I could care less right now. I whole heartily will be excited no matter what it is. As weird as it sounds, I am completely neutral about which gender I would like it to be. Having either one has equal benefits in my eyes. My husband would like another boy, of course. However, I know that he would adore a little girl and he knows it too, but he can't deal with the thought of the "teenage years". And I can't blame him. I was a teenage girl, so I know what we are in for and that right there goes on my "cons" column when thinking about which gender we would like. But in all seriousness, after all we have been through, I will be happy that it is human, no matter what sex it is. I feel extremely blessed that I am able to even ponder a sex right now. A few months ago, it felt as if this was never really going to come to fruition.
Well, now that I have put it all out there for the world to see...makes it all feel that much more real to me. I am still in shock and disbelief that this is really happening. We have just been through so much and it seems like a blur right now. All I can focus on is getting to the next week.
~extremely preggo
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