Well I wanted to provide you all with an update. I went in to my doctors office this morning for blood pregnancy test #2 of frozen embryo transfer #4. My doctor informed this afternoon that the hcg level (the pregnancy hormone) only increased by two. It was 90 on Monday and 92 today.
Well folks, that is definitely not a good thing. When I gave blood this morning, the nurse said that it needed to be 180. Needless to say, I am a little more than disappointed. I really thought it had worked this time.
Now if that news isn't bad enough, my doctor told me to stay on all my meds and come back on Friday. My mind knows that it is over, but the continuing of the meds and going in for a third blood pregnancy test, is making my heart have hope.
Before ending the call, my doctor explained to me that he would like me to come in on Friday because there is a chance that both of the embryos implanted at first and that one may have ceased from developing. Therefore, that would cause the stagnation in hcg. It does not make sense to me and it didn't make sense when he said it, but I was just too upset to ask him to elaborate. All I could focus on was the fact that he did not tell me the new that I was expecting. He also told me to keep my fingers crossed for Friday, but that he was not optimistic about the outcome.
If the professional that does and sees this all the time is not optimistic about the outcome, how can I be?
I guess it is another chemical pregnancy for me (chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage. The HCGs may not have dropped because your body hasn't realised it is a lost pregnancy yet).
~Extremely Disappointed
The FET Chronicles
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
This must be some type of sick joke!!
Well I wanted to provide you all with an update. I went in to my doctors office this morning for blood pregnancy test #2 of frozen embryo transfer #4. My doctor informed this afternoon that the hcg level (the pregnancy hormone) only increased by two. It was 90 on Monday and 92 today.
Well folks, that is definitely not a good thing. When I gave blood this morning, the nurse said that it needed to be 180. Needless to say, I am a little more than disappointed. I really thought it had worked this time.
Now if that news isn't bad enough, my doctor told me to stay on all my meds and come back on Friday. My mind knows that it is over, but the continuing of the meds and going in for a third blood pregnancy test, is making my heart have hope.
Before ending the call, my doctor explained to me that he would like me to come in on Friday because there is a chance that both of the embryos implanted at first and that one may have ceased from developing. Therefore, that would cause the stagnation in hcg. It does not make sense to me and it didn't make sense when he said it, but I was just too upset to ask him to elaborate. All I could focus on was the fact that he did not tell me the new that I was expecting. He also told me to keep my fingers crossed for Friday, but that he was not optimistic about the outcome.
If the professional that does and sees this all the time is not optimistic about the outcome, how can I be?
I guess it is another chemical pregnancy for me (chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage. The HCGs may not have dropped because your body hasn't realised it is a lost pregnancy yet).
~Extremely Disappointed
Well folks, that is definitely not a good thing. When I gave blood this morning, the nurse said that it needed to be 180. Needless to say, I am a little more than disappointed. I really thought it had worked this time.
Now if that news isn't bad enough, my doctor told me to stay on all my meds and come back on Friday. My mind knows that it is over, but the continuing of the meds and going in for a third blood pregnancy test, is making my heart have hope.
Before ending the call, my doctor explained to me that he would like me to come in on Friday because there is a chance that both of the embryos implanted at first and that one may have ceased from developing. Therefore, that would cause the stagnation in hcg. It does not make sense to me and it didn't make sense when he said it, but I was just too upset to ask him to elaborate. All I could focus on was the fact that he did not tell me the new that I was expecting. He also told me to keep my fingers crossed for Friday, but that he was not optimistic about the outcome.
If the professional that does and sees this all the time is not optimistic about the outcome, how can I be?
I guess it is another chemical pregnancy for me (chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage. The HCGs may not have dropped because your body hasn't realised it is a lost pregnancy yet).
~Extremely Disappointed
This must be some type of sick joke!!
Well I wanted to provide you all with an update. I went in to my doctors office this morning for blood pregnancy test #2 of frozen embryo transfer #4. My doctor informed this afternoon that the hcg level (the pregnancy hormone) only increased by two. It was 90 on Monday and 92 today.
Well folks, that is definitely not a good thing. When I gave blood this morning, the nurse said that it needed to be 180. Needless to say, I am a little more than disappointed. I really thought it had worked this time.
Now if that news isn't bad enough, my doctor told me to stay on all my meds and come back on Friday. My mind knows that it is over, but the continuing of the meds and going in for a third blood pregnancy test, is making my heart have hope.
Before ending the call, my doctor explained to me that he would like me to come in on Friday because there is a chance that both of the embryos implanted at first and that one may have ceased from developing. Therefore, that would cause the stagnation in hcg. It does not make sense to me and it didn't make sense when he said it, but I was just too upset to ask him to elaborate. All I could focus on was the fact that he did not tell me the new that I was expecting. He also told me to keep my fingers crossed for Friday, but that he was not optimistic about the outcome.
If the professional that does and sees this all the time is not optimistic about the outcome, how can I be?
I guess it is another chemical pregnancy for me (chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage. The HCGs may not have dropped because your body hasn't realised it is a lost pregnancy yet).
~Extremely Disappointed
Well folks, that is definitely not a good thing. When I gave blood this morning, the nurse said that it needed to be 180. Needless to say, I am a little more than disappointed. I really thought it had worked this time.
Now if that news isn't bad enough, my doctor told me to stay on all my meds and come back on Friday. My mind knows that it is over, but the continuing of the meds and going in for a third blood pregnancy test, is making my heart have hope.
Before ending the call, my doctor explained to me that he would like me to come in on Friday because there is a chance that both of the embryos implanted at first and that one may have ceased from developing. Therefore, that would cause the stagnation in hcg. It does not make sense to me and it didn't make sense when he said it, but I was just too upset to ask him to elaborate. All I could focus on was the fact that he did not tell me the new that I was expecting. He also told me to keep my fingers crossed for Friday, but that he was not optimistic about the outcome.
If the professional that does and sees this all the time is not optimistic about the outcome, how can I be?
I guess it is another chemical pregnancy for me (chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage. The HCGs may not have dropped because your body hasn't realised it is a lost pregnancy yet).
~Extremely Disappointed
Monday, May 21, 2012
Today is the day!!!
Today is 11 days past my frozen embryo transfer. I went in to get my blood pregnancy test. I nervously awaited Dr. P's call. He called me around 12:30. The results are in............the test was positive!!!!
I am happy, of course, but I am also nervous. It is almost too good to be true.
I am terrified that it will be positive like frozen embryo cycle #2 and that something will go wrong, again. I know that I should just be happy about what is and not think of what may be, but after all that I have been through, I don't want to get my hopes up and then something go wrong.
I have to go back on Wednesday for another pregnancy test. They need to make sure that the level of the pregnancy hormone (hcg) continues to rise. I am so terrified that it will not. I am not trying to think negatively, but that is exactly what happened to me during frozen embryo cycle #2. How can I not be worried that history may repeat itself??
So, please pray for us.
~No longer "Possibly Pregnant"
I am happy, of course, but I am also nervous. It is almost too good to be true.
I am terrified that it will be positive like frozen embryo cycle #2 and that something will go wrong, again. I know that I should just be happy about what is and not think of what may be, but after all that I have been through, I don't want to get my hopes up and then something go wrong.
I have to go back on Wednesday for another pregnancy test. They need to make sure that the level of the pregnancy hormone (hcg) continues to rise. I am so terrified that it will not. I am not trying to think negatively, but that is exactly what happened to me during frozen embryo cycle #2. How can I not be worried that history may repeat itself??
So, please pray for us.
~No longer "Possibly Pregnant"
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Here we are again.......
Frozen embryo cycle #4
I arrived at the surgical center of Long Island IVF on Thursday, May 10th, as planned. When I got there, I was told to change and drink water. When I was at the point of my bladder exploding, Dr. Pena came into the room and informed my mother and I that they thawed two of my embryos (we now have four left for future use). He said that they were grade two (the best is grade one). After seeing the concerned look on my face, he goes, "don't worry, that's a good thing". Then, they wheel me to the opertating room and implant my two "maybe babies" into my uterus.
Here we are at three days past our fourth frozen embryo transfer. I sit now on the deck of my mother in laws house while my husband puts together a swing set for our son and all of my thoughts go to the ever present question, "am I pregnant?". Today is Mother's day. I should be sitting here relaxing with my feet up while hubby does the work, but my mind won't rest.
I promised myself that I would not get crazy this time...that I would not obsess over whether it worked this time or not, but I just can't help, but think about it. Every growl of my belly...every twinge...any slight pain, I wonder could something be happening inside of me.
As usual, I do google searches each day (3 days past 5 day transfer...etc...etc..) and so many women post that they feel some type of cramping or discomfort. They describe it as the embryo implanting and burrowing itself into the uterus, but I feel nothing. Does that mean that this hasn't worked for me? Did my embryos thaw again only do cease from developing once placed back into their home? Well....only time will tell. I am hoping...wishing...praying to feel something, anything to indicate to me that they are still in their alive and well. The more that time goes on and the more that I don't feel anything, the more I worry that this is another failed cycle.
On Monday, May 21st I will go into my doctor's office and take the blood pregnancy test. I am sure that I will have some idea at least the night before. I have all week to ponder what I always ponder at this time (Do I want to find out on my own or do I want to wait until I'm at work on Monday?). Either way, I will let you guys know when I know.
Again, I remind myself that what is meant to be...will be. And that god gave us a perfect little boy that is here against all odds. So, we are blessed no matter what the outcome of this current cycle may be.
~Possibly Preggo (again)
I arrived at the surgical center of Long Island IVF on Thursday, May 10th, as planned. When I got there, I was told to change and drink water. When I was at the point of my bladder exploding, Dr. Pena came into the room and informed my mother and I that they thawed two of my embryos (we now have four left for future use). He said that they were grade two (the best is grade one). After seeing the concerned look on my face, he goes, "don't worry, that's a good thing". Then, they wheel me to the opertating room and implant my two "maybe babies" into my uterus.
Here we are at three days past our fourth frozen embryo transfer. I sit now on the deck of my mother in laws house while my husband puts together a swing set for our son and all of my thoughts go to the ever present question, "am I pregnant?". Today is Mother's day. I should be sitting here relaxing with my feet up while hubby does the work, but my mind won't rest.
I promised myself that I would not get crazy this time...that I would not obsess over whether it worked this time or not, but I just can't help, but think about it. Every growl of my belly...every twinge...any slight pain, I wonder could something be happening inside of me.
As usual, I do google searches each day (3 days past 5 day transfer...etc...etc..) and so many women post that they feel some type of cramping or discomfort. They describe it as the embryo implanting and burrowing itself into the uterus, but I feel nothing. Does that mean that this hasn't worked for me? Did my embryos thaw again only do cease from developing once placed back into their home? Well....only time will tell. I am hoping...wishing...praying to feel something, anything to indicate to me that they are still in their alive and well. The more that time goes on and the more that I don't feel anything, the more I worry that this is another failed cycle.
On Monday, May 21st I will go into my doctor's office and take the blood pregnancy test. I am sure that I will have some idea at least the night before. I have all week to ponder what I always ponder at this time (Do I want to find out on my own or do I want to wait until I'm at work on Monday?). Either way, I will let you guys know when I know.
Again, I remind myself that what is meant to be...will be. And that god gave us a perfect little boy that is here against all odds. So, we are blessed no matter what the outcome of this current cycle may be.
~Possibly Preggo (again)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Life goes on..........And here we are at frozen embryo cycle #4
I began frozen embryo cycle #4 a few days after receiving my big fat negative from my doctor. That conversation was actually pretty humorous. He sounded a little more sad than I was.
Some people say taking at home pregnancy tests before the blood test is a bad thing, but I was able to find out the result and deal with it on my own time rather than on Monday while I was at work.
Getting back to my conversation with my doctor, when he called he said that he is sorry, but the test came back negative and I was like, "I know, now what do we do next?". He then explained to me that since we did three frozen embryo transfers using one egg, we can now be more aggressive and transfer two embryos during the consecutive cycles.
Now lets fast forward to today. We are in day 12 of frozen embryo cycle # 4. As I type this, I can barely believe it myself that we are on cycle #4. I can't believe that it is taking so many cycles, so many medications, and so much time to do what happened so quickly the first time. But, it is what it is and we are dealing with it all.
On May 10th, I will arrive at the surgical center of Long Island IVF and they are going to implant two embryos that were fertilized five years ago and thawed that morning. After the upcoming transfer on May 10th, I could be pregnant with one baby, two babies, or none.
Although modern medicine has given me the opportunity to have a child when I could not do so naturally, I know that god has the final say.
I refuse to be sad about what has not happened. I am blessed with one child and I am blessed with the opportunity and resources to continue to try for another. And if it never happens, than god has another plan for our family. It is up to god to decide and I will continue to trust in his plan for us.
-Trusting in god's plan
Some people say taking at home pregnancy tests before the blood test is a bad thing, but I was able to find out the result and deal with it on my own time rather than on Monday while I was at work.
Getting back to my conversation with my doctor, when he called he said that he is sorry, but the test came back negative and I was like, "I know, now what do we do next?". He then explained to me that since we did three frozen embryo transfers using one egg, we can now be more aggressive and transfer two embryos during the consecutive cycles.
Now lets fast forward to today. We are in day 12 of frozen embryo cycle # 4. As I type this, I can barely believe it myself that we are on cycle #4. I can't believe that it is taking so many cycles, so many medications, and so much time to do what happened so quickly the first time. But, it is what it is and we are dealing with it all.
On May 10th, I will arrive at the surgical center of Long Island IVF and they are going to implant two embryos that were fertilized five years ago and thawed that morning. After the upcoming transfer on May 10th, I could be pregnant with one baby, two babies, or none.
Although modern medicine has given me the opportunity to have a child when I could not do so naturally, I know that god has the final say.
I refuse to be sad about what has not happened. I am blessed with one child and I am blessed with the opportunity and resources to continue to try for another. And if it never happens, than god has another plan for our family. It is up to god to decide and I will continue to trust in his plan for us.
-Trusting in god's plan
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